Say I love you說(shuō)我愛(ài)你

In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the unpardonable1. I gave the class homework! The assignment was to go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them. It has to be someone you have never said those words to before or at least havent shared those words with for a long time.

Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not macho. Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.

At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.

As he unfolded out of his chair(all 6 2 of him), he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?

But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.

You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disaGREement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.

So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.

Say I love you 說(shuō)我愛(ài)你

最近在我執(zhí)教的一個(gè)成人班級(jí)里，我干了一件不可饒恕的事情。我居然給班上的學(xué)生布置了一份家庭作業(yè)!任務(wù)是下周之內(nèi)要走到你所愛(ài)的人面前，告訴他們你愛(ài)他。此人必須是一位此前你從未對(duì)之說(shuō)過(guò)此話的對(duì)象，或至少很久沒(méi)有與他們交流過(guò)這些愛(ài)意盎然的話語(yǔ)了。

聽(tīng)起來(lái)這不像是一份苛刻的任務(wù)，直到你意識(shí)到這個(gè)班里多數(shù)男生已年逾35歲。何況在他們成長(zhǎng)的那個(gè)年代，他們受到的是這樣的灌輸：流露情感沒(méi)有陽(yáng)剛之氣。人們不會(huì)輕易流露情感和哭泣(老天也不允!)。因此對(duì)某些人來(lái)說(shuō)，這是一項(xiàng)令人生畏的任務(wù)。

第二次上課一開(kāi)始，我就問(wèn)：當(dāng)你告訴別人你愛(ài)他/她時(shí)，結(jié)果怎樣?有沒(méi)有人愿意講一講?我滿心指望像平常一樣，某位女士能自告奮勇，但是這天晚上，一位男士舉起了手。他看上去很受感動(dòng)的樣子，還有一點(diǎn)顫抖。

當(dāng)他從座椅上直起身來(lái)時(shí)(他身高6英尺2英寸)，他這樣說(shuō)道：丹尼斯，上周你給我們布置任務(wù)時(shí)，我很生你的氣。我認(rèn)為我沒(méi)有什么人需要我說(shuō)那些話，而且，你是誰(shuí)?憑什么讓我們?nèi)ジ蛇@種涉及隱私的事?

但我驅(qū)車回家時(shí)，我的良知開(kāi)始與我對(duì)話。它告訴我，我確實(shí)知道需要向誰(shuí)說(shuō)我愛(ài)你這句話。

你瞧，5年前，我與父親發(fā)生了激烈的爭(zhēng)執(zhí)，而且從此再也沒(méi)有消除隔閡。我們互相回避，除非絕對(duì)必須出席圣誕節(jié)聚會(huì)或其他的家庭聚會(huì)。但甚至在那些場(chǎng)合，我們彼此幾乎也不說(shuō)一句話。

因此，上周二到家時(shí)，我確信自己做得不對(duì)，打算告訴父親我愛(ài)他。

In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the unpardonable1. I gave the class homework! The assignment was to go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them. It has to be someone you have never said those words to before or at least havent shared those words with for a long time.

Now that doesn t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not macho. Showing feelings or crying (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.

At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer6, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.

As he unfolded out of his chair(all 6 2 of him), he began by saying, Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal8?

But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to.

You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disaGREement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.

So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.

Say I love you 說(shuō)我愛(ài)你

最近在我執(zhí)教的一個(gè)成人班級(jí)里，我干了一件不可饒恕的事情。我居然給班上的學(xué)生布置了一份家庭作業(yè)!任務(wù)是下周之內(nèi)要走到你所愛(ài)的人面前，告訴他們你愛(ài)他。此人必須是一位此前你從未對(duì)之說(shuō)過(guò)此話的對(duì)象，或至少很久沒(méi)有與他們交流過(guò)這些愛(ài)意盎然的話語(yǔ)了。

聽(tīng)起來(lái)這不像是一份苛刻的任務(wù)，直到你意識(shí)到這個(gè)班里多數(shù)男生已年逾35歲。何況在他們成長(zhǎng)的那個(gè)年代，他們受到的是這樣的灌輸：流露情感沒(méi)有陽(yáng)剛之氣。人們不會(huì)輕易流露情感和哭泣(老天也不允!)。因此對(duì)某些人來(lái)說(shuō)，這是一項(xiàng)令人生畏的任務(wù)。

第二次上課一開(kāi)始，我就問(wèn)：當(dāng)你告訴別人你愛(ài)他/她時(shí)，結(jié)果怎樣?有沒(méi)有人愿意講一講?我滿心指望像平常一樣，某位女士能自告奮勇，但是這天晚上，一位男士舉起了手。他看上去很受感動(dòng)的樣子，還有一點(diǎn)顫抖。

當(dāng)他從座椅上直起身來(lái)時(shí)(他身高6英尺2英寸)，他這樣說(shuō)道：丹尼斯，上周你給我們布置任務(wù)時(shí)，我很生你的氣。我認(rèn)為我沒(méi)有什么人需要我說(shuō)那些話，而且，你是誰(shuí)?憑什么讓我們?nèi)ジ蛇@種涉及隱私的事?

但我驅(qū)車回家時(shí)，我的良知開(kāi)始與我對(duì)話。它告訴我，我確實(shí)知道需要向誰(shuí)說(shuō)我愛(ài)你這句話。

你瞧，5年前，我與父親發(fā)生了激烈的爭(zhēng)執(zhí)，而且從此再也沒(méi)有消除隔閡。我們互相回避，除非絕對(duì)必須出席圣誕節(jié)聚會(huì)或其他的家庭聚會(huì)。但甚至在那些場(chǎng)合，我們彼此幾乎也不說(shuō)一句話。

因此，上周二到家時(shí)，我確信自己做得不對(duì)，打算告訴父親我愛(ài)他。