考研英語作文批改范例17

　　Dear sir,　　As I am a student who can stand by myself, I am writing to request if you can assist me to　　find a student who need help .　　I wonder whether it is convenient for you if two things regarding the child taken into account.　　First, the child shou come from Yushu where suffer from the disaster badly. Second, it will be better　　if he is a primary school student ,so I can support by myself .　　I woud like to gei him my assistance until he gratuates from college. Your attention to my inquiry　　would be highly apprieciated. Your sinerely ,　　Li Ming點評：5分　　你基本上理解了題目要求，但是文章結(jié)構(gòu)不盡合理，層次不夠清晰，你就寫成三段即可，或者兩段。這樣層次比較清晰，可能是由于具體的段落格式的問題，現(xiàn)在這樣，感覺很亂，一個意群要放在一起。注意拼寫錯誤，寫完之后一定要檢查一下，看有沒有這種錯誤。注意后面署名的格式問題。課后多看看范文，學習結(jié)構(gòu)安排和語言表達方面的技巧。加油啊。