考研英語(yǔ)作文批改范例14

　　Dear Administrator,I am so sympathetic about （改為to）the children who have no families that I want to help them（使用代詞有點(diǎn)重復(fù)，建議改為do some help）. I think there is some child who has the talent in music, sport, and so on, so I intend to help one child.（句子表達(dá)不順暢，建議改為，I wonder if you can help me find a child with talent in music or sport.） I will offer financial aid to the child, giving a chance for him to fulfill the dream.Children are the flowers, they should get development very well, no matter they are in good family or not（句子表達(dá)建議改為have the equal right to grow up no matter they are born in a rich or poor family）. We should do our best to help them. So, please elect a candidate who does well in sport for me. I will give him the best education I could, and give him a family. He could attain the familys warm. I also wish everybody could pay attention to the orphan, because they are the countrys future.　　Sincerely yours,　　Li Ming